In a bold move that’s making waves across the self-storage industry, UK storage company ”Aqua Vault Storage” announced today the launch of its pioneering underwater storage facility off the Brighton coast. This innovative submarine facility promises to offer “the ultimate in secure, climate-controlled storage” at depths of up to 30 meters below the English Channel.
The company claims that the underwater location provides natural advantages for preservation, with CEO Martin Phillip explaining: “The consistent cool temperatures, absence of light, and natural pressure create perfect conditions for preserving everything from antiques to electronics. Plus, you literally can’t get more off-the-grid security than being underwater.”
The facility, housed in what the company describes as “converted naval pressure vessels,” offers various sized units accessed via a purpose-built pier extending from Brighton Beach. Customers wishing to visit their belongings are provided with basic scuba training and equipment, though an additional “retrieval service” is available for those who’d prefer to stay dry.
“We’ve already seen tremendous interest from collectors looking to store valuable wines, art, and vintage clothing,” said Phillips. “The natural pressure and darkness create storage conditions that would cost a fortune to replicate on land.”
Environmental concerns have been addressed with what the company calls a “zero-impact installation” that allegedly doubles as an artificial reef. Marine biologists remain skeptical, with Dr. Sarah Hendricks from the University of Sussex noting: “I’d like to see their environmental impact assessment. Also, how exactly are they preventing saltwater corrosion of the units? And barnacles—barnacles everywhere.”
The company has announced a special introductory offer of “two fathoms for the price of one” for early adopters willing to take the plunge on April 1st, 2025.”
Stuart Bensusan, Director of Surewise, comments: ”We are excited to dive into this new area of storage insurance and have adjusted our standard cover to include ‘acts of Poseidon’.
We have even hired a full-time marine biologist to keep the octopuses from figuring out the combination locks, giving you peace of mind.”
Edit: If you have made it this far, it is now after 12pm on the 1st of April and we have to come clean…
This was an April Fools Day joke and we are not able to insure you for storing your belongings underwater and this facility doesn’t currently exist. Maybe one day though?
